Apparently Bruce Springsteen is bully, according to North Carolina Congressman Mark Walker. Congressman Walker is, of course, responding to The Bosses decision to cancel his North Carolina concert because of a new LGBT discrimination bill recently signed into law. That’s the way they behave on the “radical left,” Walker told the Hollywood Reporter. So instead, he’ll go see Justin Bieber (who, based on this North Carolina law, wouldn’t be allowed to use the bathrooms either).
We have a problem with words in our public discourse in that we don’t seem to know what they mean anymore. It seems that all we understand is emotion—one emotion in particular—and that emotion is anger. So we pick the words that best match the intensity of our anger. As we get angrier, our accusations become more severe.
But here’s the irony… the words we pick to accuse others tends to also be true of us; what psychologists call, “Projection.” To quote Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Now of course North Carolina are the bullies. The bill is bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, and racist. Or is it?
What IS bigotry? What IS homophobia/transphobia? What IS sexism? What IS bullying? Do we really understand what these words mean, and do we comprehend the concepts they represent? And further, do we know what irony or paradox means? Because irony in particular, but paradox as well, play a huge role in how we debate others while at the same time shifting the actual debate itself.
I consider myself liberal—a FLAMING liberal. Progressive even. I’m so liberal that I’m completely unfazed when called a socialist. I’m so liberal that I own a library card. I’m so liberal that I’ll only ride the left side of the teeter-totter, or board the left side of the airplane. I’m so liberal that I’ll make three lefts before making one right turn. And despite that, I’ve been unfriended and blocked from more liberal Facebook “friends” than my uncle Adolf, the right-wing loon who thinks Donald Trump will make America great again.
And it’s all over these words, that nobody seems to understand.
In one particular discussion with a “liberal” friend (who would later go on to block me), I was called racist. So I copied the dictionary definition of racism, and he responded that “we can’t trust the dictionary.” In other words, we have to go by what other people tell us. Now to be fair, that “sounded” true to him, but that’s because he didn’t understand that the dictionary definition is the “map” not the territory. The dictionary definition maps out the territory, and helps us understand what that territory looks like so that we’ll recognize it when we’re actually there.
So how did my friend KNOW that I was racist (or a bigot)? Well, that also is part of the problem. He knew based on his “emotions.” He FELT that I was being racist. You see he, like so many others, decided that having their feelings hurt somehow means discrimination, racism, bigotry, sexism… and the best way to hurt someone’s feelings is to disagree with them.
I used to do standup comedy back in the day, and I had some success. So I realize the fine line that comedians especially walk. I also write diaries for Daily Kos, so I understand how easy it is to be “misunderstood.” I participate in the public debate on other blogs, so I see firsthand how raw discourse can be. (I myself can demonstrate some pretty unskilled behavior when I’m angry.) I was a gay teenager in the eighties, in Wyoming, so I know what prejudice and discrimination look like. (I wasn’t “out” though, as that could have cost me my life.)
Last year when non-comedian (and total freakin’ downer) Anthony Berteaux decided to write an open letter to “school” Jerry Seinfeld on how comedy works, I found myself confused about what he was so upset about. And it was at this point that I began to really think about this discussion I’m having now. Do we really know what these words mean? Seriously!
My grandmother used to tell me that “when you call someone names, you’re only naming yourself.” It was similar to that old expression that when you point the finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.
Is what she said “true”? Of course not… and yet it is at the same time. That’s where paradox comes in. Our ideas opinions, even our morality can only be filtered through our own filtration system: our upbringing, our culture, our race, our relatives, our location… to that end, we have no choice but to hang our own stuff on other people.
Hence comes the irony.
A good example of this would be Bill O'Reilly on… well… just about anything. The people he hates he calls “haters.” As someone who actually matches the very definition of racist, he calls anyone who seeks redress from racism racists. We all know about his exploitation of women, and yet for him, it’s the woman who’s sexist. We also see this with Donald Trump. Every accusation he makes toward others is more true of him than the other person.
And this is where scientific method MUST come into play. The purpose of scientific method is to take as much human error out of the equation as we can so that our conclusions are more reality based. After all, that’s what it means to be “liberal…” to be reality based. Now of course it’s going to look a little different here than in a lab, but the idea is still basically the same.
First of all, know what these terms mean. If you’re going to use them, if you’re going to accuse others, then know what they mean. Get beyond your emotions and into the actual “definitions,” which also addresses step two: do some research.
Now if you’re just an average joe this may not be as necessary, but if you’re someone who goes around unfriending and blocking people all the time because they disagree with you then it might be a good idea to have done some research first.
The fact that you’ve accused someone of being: bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic etc… means you’ve already moved to step three: which is to construct a hypothesis. In this case, an accusation. So the next step involves doing some experimentation. Listen to them a little, rather than trying to prove them wrong. Hear what they’re saying. You might find that you’re on the same side.
Again, this all goes back to the beginning: the foundation. Do you understand these concepts? Do you understand them enough to communicate them? Can you specifically point out where your accusation is true? And if you have to copy and paste “links” to articles, then you’re not ready for this step. If you have to rely on Google to provide your response, then you’re not ready for this step.
In which case, step back, relax, step away from the computer, listen to some classical music to calm down, and pick it up later when you’ve done your due diligence.
Of course Congressman Mark Walker isn’t going to adjust his thinking because of anything anybody tells him, but he will no longer be able to justify it either. The point will have been made, adeptly, with without emotion, that this bill is bigoted, and that HE is the bully. This will also nullify his accusation that we’re being “politically correct.”
AND, we’ll be able to keep more of our friends.